Lay me down in waking light

Yoga music is a funny, personal thing. As a teacher, we stress about that perfect yoga playlist- knowing full well that some students are not going to care for our jam. Lately, I can't seem to help myself. I will confess, I play Beck's new album 'Morning Phase' nearly every flow class I teach.

It's beyond just being, musically, a well written album. It's more than the fact that it's mellow and has perfect timing and tempo for a yoga class. It speaks to me on a deeper level. The entire album, from start to finish, brings me emotionally back to a very turbulent and spiritually defining time in my life: just after the death of my father in 2009. 

I often speak of it in blithe tones. I brush it off, joke that I haven't had a decent night's sleep since well before he died. But the reality is, it nearly broke me. I had never known such loss, such isolation. Nights were the hardest, and I would tell myself that once dawn broke, and I'd made it through another night of white knuckling grief, it would be alright. I knew that things always looked less dismal by the golden light of a new day. 

I soldiered on, I came back to yoga. I healed, I cried, I learned that the world does indeed keep turning. But there is still that piece of my soul missing, and it's very hard to convey that to people who haven't gone through it. The final song on Morning Phase is called Waking Light. The length of the album is timed so perfectly, this song always comes on as I'm winding down, getting everyone stretched and calmed and chilled out before we head into a nice long savasana. It's always a crystallized moment for me, where I can feel, in a very concrete sense, that I have come full circle. I can remember those many mornings of watching the night give way to dim grey light, the slim sliver of morning sun that would creep through the shade to tell me I had survived another night. The opening chords of this song are a trigger for me, and I am instantly grateful for the path I've travelled, the sadness and grief I have gone through, because I know it enriches me as a teacher. 

Wherever you're at in your life, or in your practice, I hope to see you on the mat. Let's meet in our own waking light, and heal our bodies and hearts together. 

Waking light, it grew from the shadow
Brace yourself to the morning low
Night is gone, long way turning
You've waited long enough to know

When the memory leaves you
Somewhere you can't make it home
When the morning comes to meet you
Lay me down in waking light

No one sees you here, roots are all covered
There's such a life to go and how much can you show?
Day is gone on a landslide of rhythm
It's in your lamplight burning low

When the memory leaves you
Somewhere you can't make it home
When the morning comes to meet you
Rest your eyes in waking light

When the memory leaves you
Somewhere you can't make it home
When the morning comes to meet you
Open your eyes with waking light